Final Reflection

This post marks almost the end of a fruitful and enjoyable ES2007S module. I reviewed my first post and recall mentioning the importance of first impression and the ability to communicate effectively. For one of our lessons, we were given tips on interview skills. We conducted a mock interview and I was in the position of an interviewer for once. We were given a list of questions which interviewers tend to ask. Armed with that, I proceeded to conduct the “interview” with Qiyuan as the “interviewee”. I remember paying particular attention to his non verbal actions throughout. His poise and confidence left me impressed and I offered him the “job” immediately after the “interview”. Indeed, first impression and non-verbal actions can sometimes be as important as our words.

We also learnt to apply the 7Cs in report writing as well as in verbal communications. Clarity of thought and coherence is important in getting our point across. In addition, effective communication involves more than just being a good speaker. Conflicts often arise out of misunderstandings. Being a good listener by seeking to understand before being understood will go a long way in ensuring a harmonious relationship in work or in social relationships.



Having gone through the rigours of professional training in the past few months, I believe that I am more or less equipped with the necessary skills which will serve me well in the working world. I will end off with a food for thought quote by John Marshall, "to listen well is as powerful as a means of communication and influence as to talk well."

Biodata

The first impression I always give someone is that I am a serious person. However, my close friends all know me to be jovial and fun loving. Since young, I have always being inculcated the value of treating others the way I expect to be treated. Hence, I believe in being sincere and polite towards others.

Nil Sine Labore. Nothing comes without hard work; therefore I always demonstrate perseverance and determination in anything I do. Having been involved in two Youth Expedition Projects made me realise that life will be more meaningful if everyone lends a helping hand to those in need.

Reflecting on the Research Project Experience

Many feelings went through my mind when I saw the number of words on our survey report. It was almost the equivalent of a honour thesis report. Indeed, the number of words is not an accurate representation of the quality of a project. However each letter and word represented the amount of hard work and time we had spent on this project. Over the past few weeks, we had been staying up through the nights to rush through a quality report. It did not help that we had to prepare for our continual assessments as well as meeting the deadlines for other projects, in addition to having a member less.

However, working in a pair has its advantages as well. For instance, we did not have to contend with too many ideas. While the lack of ideas may hinder the progress of a project, too many differences in opinion may lead to the wasting of valuable time. The communication lines were also made easier since we only had to correspond with each other rather than accommodating another member’s schedule. Work was distributed down the middle and the constant reviewing of each other’s work ensured a consistent quality throughout. Most importantly, we felt that it was a happy collaboration because both of us were able to bring across our ideas to each other effectively. Finally, embarking on this research project also enabled me to appreciate the organ supply shortage in Singapore better and not to take my health for granted.

Someone once mentioned that teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success. I certainly cannot agree more to this.

Evaluating Intercultural Behavior

This is an incident which happened to me while at a social gathering a couple of years back. My friend, Shahid, who is an Indian Muslim had invited myself and several other close friends over to his house during Hari Raya Puasa. Hari Raya Puasa, which literally means Day of Celebration, is a day where Muslims all over the world celebrate the breaking of the fasting month.
While over lunch, we were “educated” on the traditional way of eating by Muslims, that is, using our bare hands, no forks and spoons allowed. It was fun trying to scoop rice with the first three fingers of one hand, gathering them into a morsel before putting the food into our mouths. We were also told that it was Sunnah (religious way) to lick the three fingers clean after finishing our meals, instead of washing our hands straightaway.
We were all happily indulging in our food when suddenly Shahid’s mother commented why I was using my left hand to eat instead. Shahid explained that it was because I am a leftie, hence the use of my master hand to handle the food. I was quite puzzled by her comments, but it was only later that I realised that Muslims only eat with their right hand, as the left hand was considered “unclean” in their culture. We all broke up into laughter when Shahid explained that the left hand was used exclusively to clean up after defecation in Muslim culture.
His mum added that in Islamic tradition, people will be handed a book containing all their deeds in life on "judgement day". Should the book be handed onto the right hand, it means good news, but if handed onto the left, it spells bad news. Therefore, Muslims do not like to hand things with their left hand or to other people’s left hand. Upon hearing that, I immediately switched to eating with my right hand, which drew laughters once again.
Overall, I learnt a few lessons on the Muslim culture, indeed especially valuable, since Singapore is such a multi-cultural society. Learning about the ways and cultures of each other’s culture will certainly go a long way in fostering better intercultural relationships.

Potential Research Topic: How giving are university students in the wake of recent charity frauds

Talk about scams and fraud brings to mind the Nigerian scams that were prevalent in the early 1990s which perpetuated further as electronic mail became more accessible. In recent years, a new type of fraud has started to manifest itself as charity fraud, dragging down the reputation of other legitimate charities in the process. Misuse of funds or forgery should never be seen in charity organisations anywhere in the world but repeated cases reported in Singapore are eroding the trust of Singaporeans as one becomes too sceptical of charity organisations to donate.

The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) saga and the Ren Ci probe are still very much fresh in the minds of every Singaporean. NKF and Ren Ci are arguably two of the biggest and most high profile charity organisations in Singapore. The controversy they were embroiled in has shocked and shattered the confidence of donors. There have also been cases of foreigners masquerading as monks and nuns collecting alms from Singaporeans and evading police by making quick getaways. Let’s also not forget the incident where a catholic priest, Joachim Kang embezzled 5.1 million in church funds.

The Singaporean government has since taken steps to regulate the activities of charity organisations in a bid to make the accounts more transparent. In fact 21 charities were de-registered in 2007, although details of why they have ceased to exist are yet to be released by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports. In a speech given at the opening of the new premises of the National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong had urged fellow Singaporeans to donate according to their means and from their heart.

In public places, we often see uniformed teenagers holding metal tin cans selling flags and even in universities, we encounter students doing fund-raising activities for their overseas volunteer projects. The question thus posed would then be whether university students are in the giving frame of mind or simply sceptical about it. Even as they give, would they check or query the legitimacy of such events.

Effective Communication

A friend forwarded this email about effective communication, decided to share it here.

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.' What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.' Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

While begging is not allowed in Singapore, I personally feel that the story above is rather inspiring. It is amazing how a change of words can change a whole situation around. In the case of the boy, it improved his means of livelihood, but i relate it to how interpersonal conflicts can be avoided with the tactful use of words. More often than not, people just are not receptive to criticism, however true it may be. Hence it is prudent for us to be more subtle in pointing out the flaws of the other party. Instead of criticising them outright, we can suggest constructive feedback. This way, they may be more receptive to our suggestions and seek improvements.

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Alex, Yvonne and Joelyn are the co-leaders of a youth expedition project (YEP) to Cambodia. All three of them know each other well from a previous youth expedition project. Alex and Yvonne are also involved in a relationship and it was their common passion for overseas volunteer work which brought them together.

However during the trip itself, Alex and Yvonne began to have differences over how the team should be managed as well as the itinerary of the project. Alex had inhibitions about allowing the participants do a 2 day home-stay at the villagers’ homes as some of the houses were situated quite far away. He had felt that safety of the participants would be compromised should any emergency occur during the night. Yvonne had a different perspective, feeling that the participants are old enough to take care of themselves. She insisted on letting the participants have a home-stay, as it would greatly enhance their YEP experience and allow them to better relate to the villagers through closer communication.

Both refused to budge from their stands and Alex even tactlessly criticised Yvonne in front of the participants. Yvonne felt that Alex was undermining her position as a leader and was deeply offended. Alex on the other hand, felt that Yvonne was being too stubborn and taking things too personally. Over the next few days, they were constantly bickering and even during team meetings, they did not see eye to eye over the little issues. It was plain that this was not just affecting their personal relationship, but also beginning to affect the team’s morale.

Everyone in the team is concerned that this episode may hinder or obscure the real objective of reaching out and helping the village. Now imagine you are Joelyn, as their friend and fellow co-leader, how would you advise them to put aside their differences and resolve the conflict?

Effective Communication Skills

Since time immemorial, communication has been an important tool in the continual survival of species. Communication has served as a traditional means of expressing feelings and as warning signals in a predator-prey food chain. It wasn’t until speech evolved two hundred thousand years ago, that signalled a new revolutionary era in human communication.

In a fast paced world like today, where everyone is judged by their first impressions, it seems that even subtle cues like non verbal body language are being picked up. This is especially so in interview settings, where time is not on the side of the interviewer, to be able to judge on a candidate’s ability or to see through his character and working attitude. Therefore making a good first impression through non verbal communication on the candidate’s side is just as important as how he performs for the interview. Having a good body posture, no over gesticulations, general politeness and self-confidence without bordering on arrogance all constitute to making a good first impression.

Effective communication is also important in maintaining current relationships and making new ones. It takes effort on both sides to compromise for any relationship to work. Often we seek to be understood before being understanding, which is the root of misunderstandings. Whether it is a boss-subordinate, friend-friend, husband-wife or parent-child relationship, it is vital to put oneself in the other party’s shoes. Therefore, I feel that being able to communicate effectively without any barriers would go a long way in maintaining a good relationship. Many a time, we may forget to take into account someone else’s feelings when speaking which may inadvertently harm relationships.

In a professional setting, the manner and tone of a conversation between superior and subordinate reflects their working relationship. Seeking to clarify instructions when in doubt instead of making assumptions can also prevent errors being made. At the same time, being able to understand and empathise with each other would enhance a good working relationship.